Tag: Mental Health

Love

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We each have many types of love relationships — parents, children, spouses, friends. And they’re not always with people; you may love an animal, or a place. Is there a single idea or definition that runs through all the varieties of “love”?

Love is the feeling that connects us to others. It gives us reasons to do things. It supports us in difficult times and makes memories complete. Adding love and caring to any situation makes it shared. My other ideas on love can be found in this acrostic poem.

Love is letting other people or things into your life and caring about them—at times putting their needs above your own.   

Obvious in your face—it makes you smile and warms you from the inside.

Valuable—without love and letting others get close—you are alone.

Every feeling the other person feels you share—if they are happy or sad—you feel their joy or sadness.

Love is...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/i-want-to-know-what-love-is/

Pick Your Battles

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Think of a time you let something slide, only for it to eat away at you later. Tell us how you’d fix it today.

Working in mental health I see daily the impact of letting something slide and not dealing with it. The reason are many, varied and often come from a place of wanting the hurt to stop. When feelings aren’t dealt with in a healthy way—even the really difficult ones—they will become a bigger and more powerful problem.

For me—I pick my battles. I make a quick assessment in my mind how I think the issue is going to impact on me. If I can’t get the issue out of my head, I make a mental plan to discuss it with the other person involved at the next convenient time. I make a time with them and tell them how I felt about the situation that developed. They are my feelings—no one can argue with them. I explain what I heard from what they said, usually ending of with the statement “I don’t think that is how you meant it to come across.” I find that this gives the other person an opportunity to re-frame the situation from their point of view and we can usually find the middle ground.

If the situation came and they stated that they did mean to come across how I interpreted it—I would ask why and work on moving forward from there. Communicating is the quickest way to end problems as it allows us to get to the core of the issue. Without addressing the conflict or concern we can jump to many conclusions but they may not be right ones and often only complicate the situation. From my perspective addressing issues when they arise helps develop trust as the other person realises that I want to work with them and we can form a united front. They don’t have to worry about upsetting me as they realise I will let them know if I am upset so we can fix the problem.

There are some battles that I decide when making my mental plan aren’t worth spending oxygen on. Yes, they upset me briefly for petty reasons so I decided to deal with it myself and move on using distraction techniques—doing something I enjoy to get my mind off it. At home I find a simple “stop” to the other person is enough to change the behaviour. I am also happy to debrief a situation with my colleagues and gain support when necessary. Prioritise yourself and seek professional help if necessary. Nothing is too big to be addressed. You just do it like you would eat an elephant—”bite by bite.”

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/set-it-to-rights/

Unique

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Write a post about anything you’d like — in the style of your favorite blogger. (Be sure to link to them!)

Back in 1980 my 6th form English teachers wrote on my high school reference, Max “has a unique personality.” I was so proud.  The statement showed he understood me and wasn’t trying to make me fit a mould. It was this reference that 6 weeks later, as an 18-year-old helped get me a traineeship in psychiatric nursing. 35 years later I still work in mental health. It suits my unique personality. All those years ago, if I had copied others because that was the normal thing to do—I wouldn’t have found my calling.

Finding your own personality, believing and following  your own style is important in developing your own confidence. It is this confidence that allows you to achieve your goals. Imitation is observing and replicating another’s  behaviour—something I am not interested in doing on any level—even for fun. There are many other bloggers who think similar to myself and whose blogs I enjoy however, having a different style of writing changes the feel of the post and in my opinion isn’t being true to either style.

I am all for learning and adding new forms of writing to my blog—my latest addition being poetry. But in my own unique voice. Being true to myself is a personal value of mine which leaves no reason to copy others. Believe in yourself and develop your voice. Copying others will keep you not being true to you.

Be unique. The world need more uniqueness—not more imitators.

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/imitationflattery/

Boundaries

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What question do you hate to be asked? Why?

I don’t mind what questions people ask me. I have strong boundaries so if I don’t think the person has a right or reason to know the answer I will tell them I am not answering. If I think it is appropriate I will give them a reason but most of the time I don’t. My boundaries—my decisions. No correspondence will be entered into.

Our boundaries are imaginary lines that tell others what behaviours, attitudes and values are acceptable and not acceptable to us. They tell others how close they can come. Think of your boundaries as the fences to your life. Fences have gates that allow certain people to pass and stop others.They ensure your safety because you choose who gets close and whom you keep at a distance.

You get to choose your own boundaries—for your behaviour as well as others. If you don’t like someone’s behaviours—you get to choose your response to their behaviours. Your response can be very effective in changing or stopping the other person’s behaviours.

Healthy boundaries are important for healthy relationships. People not taught effective boundaries—live their lives in chaos—with regular unwanted invasions from others. Learn to work with your personal boundaries as they can help you mange uncomfortable situations and tricky questions.

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/plead-the-fifth/

ME Time

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What’s your ideal Saturday morning? Are you doing those things this morning? Why not?

I believe one of the best ways to look after your mental health is to enjoy regular—preferably daily ME time. Time alone  doing only what you want to do—something that isn’t taxing on the brain. ME time recharges and energises me. I also prepares me to do battle with whatever lies ahead or brings me down from a busy and demanding day at work.

Saturday morning is my favourite time to catch up with myself. My busy week is over and I am usually home alone. I love the silence. I love the only sounds I can hear are the birds chirping outside—it quietens my busy head immediately. Upon rising usually early, I grab a cup of tea and head to my blog. I enjoy the excitement creating new posts in different styles brings me as well as visiting other blogs. It never ceases to amaze me how one topic can be interpreted in so many ways. I also enjoy learning more about the people, words and experiences that make up my ever-growing blogging community.

During busy weekend times when I cannot fit in my blogging hit to start off my weekend—I feel more stressed. ME time is definitely my de-stress time. I find ME time is definitely my oxygen to get through the rough parts of  life—like the plane warning states “put your own oxygen mask on before helping others.” So now I prioritise my ME time.  If I am busy I get up fifteen minutes earlier—to have some ME time—in the end I feel better for it as my day runs much smoother.

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/me-time/

Self-Worth

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“Think global, act local.” Write a post connecting a global issue to a personal one.

I don’t know if eating disorders are classified as a global issue but I believe they are—statistics from 2002 state 70 million people world-wide are living with one so the number would be much greater today.

Knowing these facts are one thing, but what can be done at a personal level to help protect ourselves or our children from developing a dangerous eating disorder that has the potential to kill them. The answer is increasing low self-worth to a healthy level. Self worth is defined as “the opinion you have of your self and the value you place on yourself.”

Consider your current level of self-worth—do you believe in yourself and your abilities or is your self worth low and a struggle?

Work on improving your self-worth by focusing on the following 3 areas:

  1. Listen to your self talk – ensure you tell yourself positive statements. When a negative statement comes to mind—at least turn it into a neutral statement—even if you can’t  go all the way and make it a positive one.
  2. Give yourself permission to do one fun thing or one nurturing thing a day—because you deserve it.
  3. Set a mini goal each day that works towards your longer term goals.

So lets help to spread the growth of positivity through the world, by beginning at home. Let’s focus on supporting increased self-worth in everyone we come in contact with. Ensure that if we can’t do anything to help, we don’t do anything to make the situation worth. Self worth is improved one small step at a time—it won’t happen overnight.

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/think-global-act-local/

(Eating Disorder Recovery) for Dummies.

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Take a complicated subject you know more about than most people, and explain it to a friend who knows nothing about it at all.

Well it seems amazing to me that today I celebrate my 200th post. I am also proud to say that is has only taken me 276 days to reach this milestone. Not a bad effort for someone who—works full-time and is writing a book.

It is the topic of my book that I thought may work well with today’s prompt—my thing is—how eating disorder recovery is possible. I have worked in the field since the 1980’s and have many years experience supporting people living with and recovering from an eating disorder. But what are they and how does one recover?

Eating disorders are psychological and physiological disorders that takes over the lives of those living with them as well as their families. They are characterised by an obsession with food, weight and body shape. There are 4 types:

  • Anorexia Nervosa
  • Bulimia Nervosa
  • Other Specific Feeding and Eating Disorders
  • Binge Eating Disorders

People living with an eating disorder use a mixture of various behaviours to control their weight, numb their feelings and control their lives. Behaviours used that need to be manged in recovery are:

  • Restriction
  • Bingeing
  • Self-induced vomiting
  • Laxatives
  • Excessive exercise

Recovery involves stopping the use of these behaviours and replacing them with healthy coping skills. But how?

There are 6 stages of recovery. It is an individual journey and  can take between 2-7 years from the commencement of when people decide to recover. This in fact may be several years after the person was diagnosed.

The stages of recovery are:

  1. Nutrition Management
  2. Stopping Eating Disorder Behaviours
  3. Feelings management
  4. Passions
  5. Relationships
  6. Intimacy

My book—Inspiring Hope: How Eating Disorder Recovery Is Possible covers all of these areas and many more. Breaking the hold an eating disorder has is difficult. It requires addressing many individual issues some of which are initially unknown. There is no map for the journey, but it is definitely one that needs professional help. The quicker help is sought, the better. However seeking help late doesn’t mean someone is not treatable — even if you have had an eating disorder for years. Committing to recovery and connecting with a treatment team is what makes a difference. This is always hope.

Possible Inspiring Hope cover

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/daily-prompt-2/

Using My Brain

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Let’s assume we do, in fact, use only 10% of our brain. If you could unlock the remaining 90%, what would you do with it?

I am unsure I could cope with using 100% of my brain, although I do believe I use more than 10%. I have images of it constantly going and not giving me time to catch up. My brain sometimes seems full now, so how would using more of it change my life. Irrespective, I am up for the challenge and would like to further develop skills using the left and right sides of my brain as they are responsible for different things.

Left Side Brain Right Side Brain
Analytical Believes
Classic Music Big Picture
Control Can Be Absentminded
Critical Thinking Cat Lovers
Details Oriented Colour
Dog Lovers Creative Storyteller
Facts Creativity
Language Dreamer
Logic Emotions
Mathematics Fantasy & Mystery
Order Good at Arts
Organised Good at Sports
Past & Present Images
Patterns Imagination
Perception Intuition
Practical Listen to Music /TV While Studying
Prefers Verbal Instructions Passion
Rarely Absentminded Prefers Visual Instructions
Rational Present & Future
Reason Recognises Faces
Safe Risk Taking
Science Rock Music
Study In Silence Spatial Awareness
Structure Spontaneous & Unpredictable
Write Non-Fiction Thinks Better Lying Down
Write Fiction

 

Going through these lists, makes me realise I do use both sides of my brain. I am mostly a right brain person however, I use more of my left than I first thought. My goal is to develop my current skills further and see where they takes me. Afterall,

“Who knows, but you have to be in it to win it.”

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/brain-power/

Danger

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Tell us about the time you rescued someone else (person or animal) from a dangerous situation. What happened? How did you prevail?

When someone or something needs to be rescued, deal with stress or is in a dangerous situation, everyone has 3 alternatives. Depending on the choices made, our body responds differently allowing us to do what we required them to do.

  • Fight – Attack or do what is necessary to rescue
  • Flight – Run away
  • Fright – Stop and shut down

Fortunately, in my personal life I have never employed any of these options. In my professional life, as a mental health nurse, I have often triggered my fight response. Each time having a positive outcome. I love that by trusting our bodies they give us the ability to do what we need, without us thinking about it.

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/daring-do/

Inspiring Hope

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What change, big or small, would you like your blog to make in the world?

I believe the way you look at the world changes your outcomes, and I  always focus on the positives in any situation. Developing a spark of hope into a fire that warms you and lights your path is my goal. Life is too short not to make the most of what we have.

The above quote is from my About page and shows the purpose of my blog. Working in mental health I encourage others to see that there can be an alternative way to look at situations. We may not be able to change our past but we can choose to change the impact it has on our future.

Where possible I like to find a unique angle for my blog posts that inspires people to think outside the square or gain a new experience. I use my double rainbow as my brand to help keep me focused on hope.

The double rainbow is a rare and beautiful thing that inspires even more hope. It reminds us that after the storm there can be a beautiful ending. At the time I took this photo from Melbourne Aquatic Centre in 2011, life wasn’t necessarily easy but by focusing on the positive, gold was eventually found at the end of the rainbow, in the most surprising places.

2011-07-30 17.13.54

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/be-the-change/