Forgive and Forget

May 8, 2015 inspiringmax

Share a story where it was very difficult for you to forgive the perpetrator for wronging you, but you did it — you forgave them.

Unfortunately we cannot stop trauma, tragedy and conflict happening in our lives. We can however choose how we respond to it, which changes its impact. By staying stuck—angry, hurt and wanting revenge, we keep focusing on the negative emotions. This allows them to continue to hurt us in other ways, over and over again.

Forgiveness is acknowledging that it happened, but letting go of the negative emotions. Doing whatever is necessary to move on. How—will be different for everyone, but there is no other way forward.

For me, forgiveness isn’t about the other person or what they have done—it’s about my mental health. By not forgiving them I allow them to take from me again and again. Not an option for me. I deal with my emotions, learn any lessons that need to be learnt and move on. I may not choose to forget, but I do choose to not let it consume my life and forgiveness is the key.

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/forgive-and-forget/

Moving Forward

May 3, 2015 inspiringmax

When was the last time you did something completely new and out of your element? How was it? Will you do it again?

I am regularly moving forward by stepping or often leaping out of my comfort zone to grow. Nothing exciting ever happens in our comfort zone. This time last year I was working my way up to begin blogging. And just to make it a harder I had decided to set my blog up on WordPress.org not WordPress.com. It took me weeks to get any views and after 2 months I had 34 views. I didn’t give up. I kept learning about the process, connecting with others and becoming more comfortable as a blogger. It feels natural now. I have had 12,250 views and am averaging about 50-70 views a day.

My latest journey out of my comfort zone is with Twitter. I don’t think I have any idea about its power but I am becoming more comfortable with it daily. Twitter for me is a double comfort zone as it has by name attached to it. Twitter is the next level of social media for me to connect with before I publish my book later this year. It feels a little more comfortable each day so I know I am moving forward in the direction of my dreams.

At the time I began writing my book my life was out of my comfort zone in many ways. I found Miley Cyrus’s The Climb extremely motivating and would play it loudly and regularly. This song describes the journey of moving forward and dealing with the difficulties faced during your climb to follow your dreams. It empowered me to do what I needed to do and see what happens. I am so glad I did. My life has changed for the better in so many ways and I am grateful I took the chances I did. Now when I need a shot of motivation I replay The Climb and re anchor the thought that I can do what ever I dream and that I don’t have to know how it will turn out first. I have learnt to trust the process.

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/beyond-the-pale/

Inspiring Hope

April 26, 2015 inspiringmax

Write the blurb for the book jacket of the book you’d write, if only you had the time and inclination.

This prompt is great for me. I am currently in the final editing stage of my book—Inspiring Hope: How Eating Disorder Recovery Is Possible, which I plan to self-publish by the end of this year. It has been an amazing journey and I have learnt a lot. As this is my first book jacket I am interested in people’s ideas about how it can be improved. I look forward to your insight.

Do you or someone you know have and eating disorder?

Are you confused by them or how to get help?

Have you lost hope that this monster—your eating disorder can be defeated?

You are not alone

Eating disorders are physical and psychological disorders that defy logic and their harrowing effects impact over one million Australians, their families and the economy.

Inspiring Hope is a concise, comprehensive punchy guide that men and women of all ages find engaging. Written by a specialist eating disorder nurse with many years experience, supporting and guiding those in the recovery maze. This book describes life living with an eating disorder and gives expert insights into eating disorder recovery. Full of practical strategies, Inspiring Hope helps individuals recover and assists loved ones with the best ways to offer support and how not to.

Empowering individuals to take responsibility for their life and to learn how their choices affect their eating disorder, Inspiring Hope demonstrates the steps—forwards and backwards—along their recovery journey. By revealing the mysteries involved in recovery, Inspiring Hope gives hope that recovery is possible.

Quotes from those living with an eating disorder throughout, bring this book to life and encourage readers to start or get back on track with their recovery journey because their spark of hope is ignited.

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/byobookworm/

S – Self-nurturing

April 24, 2015April 25, 2015 inspiringmax

Who doesn’t love a list? So write one! Top five slices of pizza in your town, ten reasons disco will never die, the three secrets to happiness — go silly or go deep, just go list-y.

Self-Nurturing, by definition, is taking care of yourself and doing things to improve your wellbeing. This is a skill often omitted or lost when we get busy with life and needs to be replaced to help manage our stress. Self-nurturing goals need to be simple and daily.

If necessary— plan your self-nurturing activities. Aim to practise two to three activities a day depending on what they are. Bigger goals require more effort so fewer are needed each week. Create your list of things you enjoy and that work for you. Some examples include:

Alone Time
Blogging
Drawing
Going for a walk
Having a facial
Having a foot rub
Having a massage
Having a shower or bath
Listening to music
Make a phone call to a friend
Meditating and relaxing
Painting your finger and toe nails
Playing games
Playing with children or a pet
Putting on makeup
Reading
Sitting by the beach/lake and watching the water
Smelling or picking some flowers
Socialising with friends
Swimming
Treat your to a manicure or pedicure
Using moisturiser
Visiting the library, art gallery or museum
Walking barefoot on the sand
Watching a comedy show or movie
Writing

Of the above list I think my favourite is walking barefoot on the beach and smelling flowers. They use more than one sense so to me this feels more intense. What is your favourite way to self-nurture?

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/the-satisfaction-of-a-list/

Don’t Stop Believing

April 18, 2015 inspiringmax

What’s the one piece of advice you wish someone had given you a year (or five, or ten…) ago?

I have an innate ability to know who to trust. It’s an instant ability I have to be able to read people. When I interview for new staff I make it clear the person I choose will be the best fit for the team not necessarily the person with the highest scores on graduation. So far my trust has been rewarded by my choices being recognised as great team members by patients as well as other staff.

During the last 5 years however there was one occasion where my trust in a colleague was severely breached. I had to learn quickly not to doubt myself. I was right to originally trust this person however they broke that trust by their actions. I quickly recognised the problem—there was a crocodile in the pond, the pond itself although shaken was solid and full of life.

This realisation during an extremely difficult time helped me to continue believe in myself, build resilience in all concerned and continue to trust others.

Remember, sometimes when things are out of our control it’s not our fault, however we need to do what is necessary to take back control.

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/powerful-suggestion/

Dealing With Anger

April 15, 2015 inspiringmax

Tell us about a time when you flew into a rage. What is it that made you so incredibly angry?

I don’t fly into rages. Yes I get angry—but I deal with it quickly stopping it developing further along its continuum and having a greater impact on my life.

The anger continuum has 3 points:

Anger_________Rage_________Fury

I put out spot fires of anger, stopping them becoming bush fires of rage or mega wild fires of fury. The further down the continuum you go, the more out of control the emotion and the more damage you are likely to do to yourself or others.

Anger is a valid, strong emotion. It comes about when we feel personally wronged or attacked. By acknowledging what I am angry about, I can decide what I need to do about it. My response usually comes in one of the following ways:

Acknowledging that I have a right to be angry about it and that I was hurt—no further action required.

Taking some deep breath, listening to my favourite loud music and just chilling for a moment. Pink’s music works well here.

Ventilating my anger in a healthy way e.g kick a ball around, journal my feelings or just yell for a minute of too.

Responding to my anger and speaking to the person involved. To do this I would make a time to discuss the matter with the person I am angry with. I let them know why I am angry using ‘I’ statements. I am entitled to be angry and they don’t get to tell me I shouldn’t be angry—they also cannot take my feeling away. However, by talking about it with the person concerned, together we open the lines of communication and make a plan to get to the bottom of the issue. Being heard by the other person helps me feel validated and allows me to let it go.

My last option is to discuss it with a friend/mental health work colleague. This gives me closure and helps me see the situation through the other persons eyes. Many people may use therapy to help with this stage.

I grew up with and still where possible follow the biblical quote on this topic— Ephesians 4:26 “Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger”— as failing to do so has a great impact on one’s mental health.

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/mad-as-a-hatter/

Inspiration, Knowledge and Travels

April 1, 2015 inspiringmax

Often, our blogs have taglines. But what if humans did, too? What would your tagline be?

I believe humans do have taglines. Everything we say and do is our tagline—what people know us by. We can edit our blog posts to ensure they match our theme. However in our life blog posts the editing process requires more effort and pain is often attached to the changes. Life with our blogs trialing new things and sometimes making big changes brings greater rewards. This can be the same in life. Like in the old adage—no pain, no gain.

For me the similarities between myself and my blog continue. I would choose a similar tagline. My blogs tagline is inspiration through my thoughts, experiences and travels. My life’s tagline would be inspiration, knowledge and travels.

I am a positive person working in mental health. Everything I do is about encouraging myself and others to look on the bright side—developing a spark of hope into a fire that warms you and lights your path and become the best possible version of oneself.

My main areas to focus on include:

Inspiration—stories, quotes, songs, words, books, movies
Knowledge—eating disorder recovery, mental health, parenting, public speaking, life skills
Travels—Australia, Canada, China, New Zealand

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/tagline/

My CODES

March 30, 2015 inspiringmax

Have you got a code you live by? What are the principles or set of values you actively apply in your life?

I live my life according to my personal values. They are at the centre of everything I do and are the basis of my motto—be the best version of yourself possible but do no harm to yourself or others. My personal values can be described as my CODES and include:

C

Calmness, Carefulness, Challenge, Commitment, Community, Confidence, Connection, Courage, Courtesy, Continuity, Compromise, Comfort and Change.

O

Open-mindedness. Optimism, Order, Originality and Outdoors.

D

Dependability, Desire, Determination, Dignity, Dreaming, Direction and Diligence.

E

Empathy, Encouragement, Endurance, Enthusiasm, Ethics, Excellence, Experience, Expertise, Expressiveness, Ease, Efficiency, Envision and Exploration.

S

Safety, Self-control, Security, Self-reliability, Self-respect, Sensitivity, Sharing, Silence, Simplicity, Spirituality, Stability, Support and Spontaneity.

Whenever I am thinking whether a decision is right for me—I consult my CODES. If it fits into any of my above values, I will consider the option further. If it doesn’t fit—the answerer is a definite NO!

My CODES simplify my life.

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/i-walk-the-line/

Play

March 25, 2015March 25, 2015 inspiringmax

Draft a post with three parts, each unrelated to the other, but create a common thread between them by including the same item — an object, a symbol, a place — in each part.

“Mum can we go yet, I want to play?”

“Who or what do you want to play with, Sandy?”

“I want to play with Mary.”

“Mary is visiting her family in Queensland so that is not possible.”

“Yes it is mum she has her mum’s I-pad.”

“Sorry Sandy, remember yesterday I said during the day you play outside while the weather is good.”

“Okay mum I forgot.”

Practical and fun

Life’s building blocks

Alternate way of learning

Your friend

Last night I went to see the new play in town. Great story and the characters were so real. Initially I didn’t want to go but I went as a favour to my friend. She was worried nobody would go. Wrong. It was a sell out crowd and the critics loved it. Simply titled—PLAY—it is the story behind the importance of playing in our adult life as well as our childhood. So when you get the chance don’t forget to play.

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/weaving-the-threads/

Life in Sydney

March 20, 2015 inspiringmax

What do you love most about the city / town / place that you live in? What do you like the least about it? If you were mayor, what would be the most important problem you’d tackle? How would you tackle it?

I live in Sydney, Australia along with 4.5 million others. It is a vibrant, exciting city visited by millions of people ever year and home to the deepest natural harbour in the world. See my earlier post—Welcome to Sydney here for more information.

Working in mental health I love that Sydney’s specialists and hospitals are recognised on the world map as leaders in research in all areas. If help is needed it can be accessed—something that cannot be said for many places.

My biggest problem living in Sydney is the daily commute. Compared to other cities in the world, it is expensive—although now a little cheaper with the Opal card, time consuming and the buses are unreliable. I mostly use the trains which have improved recently however they are not yet at a level that encourages drivers to get off the road and catch the train. On average it takes me 1.5 hours to get to work on the train. If I leave for work early and leave work late I can drive the distance in half an hour—something I have begun doing a couple of days a week. During my usual hours however the drive will take a minimum of an hour so the extra stress isn’t worth it.

My only solution to this problem is to bring down the price of public transport, increase services and make sure they run on or close to time. Sydney trains has worked hard on this however the buses have far too few routes and buses often don’t show. Only last Sunday I needed to wait for 50 minutes for a bus that should have arrived 6 minutes after I did. If I had taken my alternate train/walk route I would have been home before the bus arrived.

These problems are not insurmountable and commuting would take less time in a smaller city. Smaller cities also have fewer resources something I am not interested in giving up. While 5 minutes to work may be great if I worked in an office or shop—in mental health physical distance can be a blessing in disguise as it gives time between work and home which helps me to wind down after a busy day. Having a view of Sydney Harbour to start and end my day isn’t hard to take either—something I don’t get on the days I choose to drive.