Tag: Life lessons

Coffee Catch-Up #17

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If we were having coffee I would tell you that I can’t believe its been two months since our last coffee. Moving and having no or limited internet access changed my world and blogging wasn’t a simple task. It made my world quieter but didn’t stop me from connecting with my fellow bloggers, by reading their blogs during my limited windows of time. I finally have the internet connected I plan on getting my blogging back on track as I think it helps me communicate more efficiently in everyday life. By this I mean I waffle less because I focus more on short concise sentences. It feels great to be back and I realise from your kind words how well we all support each other.

If we were having coffee I would tell you I have been at my new job three months and I feel very much a part of the team. I am also slowly learning the differences between the two hospitals. It has been weird but freeing to go from knowing most things at one hospital to knowing little and needing to build up my knowledge source at the other. I think I am winning although I definitely still learn new things daily.

If we were having coffee I would tell you the weather is warming up in Australia and I am looking forward to my first swim of the season. I was excited about a month ago when I realized that according to Dr Goggle, the beach is only half an hours walk from my house. I definitely hope he’s correct because what a great encouragement to walk regularly. In Sydney I never got to the beach because it takes hours and parking especially is a big hassle.

If we were having coffee I would tell you how excited I was last Friday to have my new washing machine delivered. Talk about small things amusing small minds. Wow! What a difference having one on site makes. I think I definitely took doing the washing for granted before. It was just something annoying that needed to be done. My new washer I have made my friend and it even tells me how long before the load is finished—a very helpful tool. Another thing related to washing that I had forgotten is how cool Hills Hoist Clothes lines are. They move around in the breeze, carry a lot of clothes and dry the washing so much faster. Mine may be an oldie but its a goodie.

Photo Credit: Google

Photo Credit: Google

If we were having coffee I would tell you how our new house was robbed over the October long weekend. They broke through forcing the door and cherry picked there way through the small amount of belongings we had left at the house to begin work. Its funny the thing that made me suspicious that something was wrong was the fact that I couldn’t find the old radio tape player to give me music whilst I painted.  So, I did what wives do. I rang my husband assuming that he had moved it and together we realised what had happened as he listed things and I tried to find them. The worst part was that I then had to wait alone in what was now a scary house for me for the police. I couldn’t concentrate on painting so I read but the police didn’t come. Eventually I rang the police assistance line again only to be told that they would be coming the next day and had left hours ago but nobody bothered to tell me. I was annoyed but at the same time relieved to be able to go to the safety of my mothers house.

The next morning I arrived five minutes before the policewoman agreed to meet me and walked around the back only to find the back door wide open. I ran, panicking to the safety of my car  and willed her to come quickly. Fortunately she was on time. She then lead the way through the house to find that whoever was there had definitely left. She finger printed the back door and showed me how she believed they had gotten in. Now our house is locked like Fort Knox but at least it feels safe again. On reflection it gave me insight on how some people must live, as while a few things may have been sale able, most of what they took from us was edible, drinkable or for home care.

If we were having coffee I would ask you what is happening in your world? Its been a while so I hope life has been good to you. Let me know in the comments.

 

Profound Relationship

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Profound

How is your most important relationship? No, I don’t mean the one with you partner or kids, I mean your relationship with yourself. I like Shirley Maclaine believe that this is your most profound relationship and its depth mirrors the depth of your relationship with others. It’s easy to please others or blame ourselves but neither of these behaviours allow us to get close to others. To let people into your life, you need to be friends with yourself first. To know what you like, your passions, your strengths and weaknesses and be ready to stand up for them if necessary.

When life doesn’t go according to plan, can you set aside the emotion for a minute and look at your role in the situation before making a plan to move on? There are always two sides to every story. And although being open and honest with ourselves can be very difficult to do, it is important for our mental health. The more we understand ourselves and take responsibility for our actions, the more we grow as a person. From this growth we learn any lessons necessary to make sure our future relationships are profound and we enjoy a better quality of life.

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/249091/

Admire

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It’s very easy to criticize yourself and others. But it’s not helpful. Instead learn to admire and be grateful for the things you and others do well. By focusing on the positive, we set goals, move forward and become the best possible version of ourselves. So let’s take the ADMIRE challenge.

Acknowledge what you and others do well

Discover the ways you can continue to grow

Master the oppurtunities

Insight is important

Recognise, respect and take responsibility for your abilities

Encourage yourself and develop confidence as you communicate with others

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/admire/

Crisis

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Crisis

Working in mental health, for me crisis management, big and small, can be a daily occurrence. And while helping someone or even myself through a crisis is a good feeling, I don’t believe it is the best part of the experience. Like Marilyn Monroe in the above quote, “Within crisis, are the seeds of opportunity,” I agree that the opportunities that arise after the event are. They create personal growth within us that transforms our lives. We are a changed person, older and wiser. due to the lessons we have learnt or have been forced to deal with due to the crisis.

For more information on my inspiration to get through a crisis stop by my earlier post below.

Getting Through Tough Times

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/crisis/

Left Behind

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Change is inevitable and with it something or someone is always left behind. It’s not a bad thing but part of the circle of life. Ironically, we often don’t know the impact someone or something has on our lives until we leave it behind.

Currently our world is full of change. (See Coffee Catch-Up #9 for details.) You see, I believe it’s the new experiences and reinvention because someone or something is left behind that are exciting. For example, at present while my husband and I are considering which pieces of furniture to leave behind, our daughter is planning what she would like left behind and how she and her friends will change the house to make it more practical for them—a WIN WIN for everyone. It’s a modern day example of the reading at our wedding or popular song from the 1960’s if you are musically inclined.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 King James Version (KJV)

3 To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:

2 A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;

3 A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;

4 A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;

5 A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;

6 A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;

7 A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;

8 A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.

 

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/discover-challenges/the-things-we-leave-behind/

Coffee Catch-Up #10

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If we were having coffee I would tell you how glad I am that it is now July because what a month June turned out to be. On top of everything I spoke about in my last coffee catch-up this month has continued to serve up curve balls to challenge us and make us stronger.

If we were having coffee I would tell you the reason I missed coffee last weekend was because I was in hospital after a major allergic reaction to antibiotics.  I am rarely sick so the fact that I got an infection from an unknown source that wouldn’t go away was frustrating. Then, after a week of not getting better to change antibiotics, get sicker and end up in hospital was an eye opener for me. Initially, I looked very beautiful with my swollen face however with time and treatment my face has returned to normal. Each day I feel better, however I am looking forward to getting all my energy back soon.

If we were having coffee I would tell you that I taught myself to use Publisher this week. It has always been on my bucket list of things to do and I have looked at it many times before, but always gone back to Word – for me the simpler option. This time I persevered and once I got a handle on it I liked it. In fact, I liked it so much that I have decided to transfer my book to Publisher when I have finished this last edit to see how different it looks and increase my knowledge base of this tool. I may even use You tube and see what other secrets it can reveal. With a coy smile, I would also ask you if you have any Publisher experience or handy hints to share with me.

If we were having coffee I would tell you that despite everything I am loving the simpler, slower pace of life at the moment. Not having to rush anywhere, use what food we have and shop minimally is turning out for me to be very rewarding. Instead of buying a large amount of food on the weekend to make feeding the family quickly after a busy day commuting and working possible, we have made a daily plan together about what we eat based on what we have and suddenly we have so much more time. Because we aren’t rushing for some bizarre reason it takes us even less time to cook, we spend hardly any money on food and we are more creative with our ideas. Who knew?

If we were having coffee I would tell you how on the last day of June my husband discovered that the cat had a swollen left neck. We are so pleased June has ended as we don’t want any more surprises. Turns out the cat just wanted to be like me so he got himself an infection that needed antibiotics. No problem, a quick visit to Uncle Tom (his vet), a big needle and he was sorted.

If we were having coffee I would tell you how interesting it was for me to write my curriculum vitae this week. I have lost all previous copies so had to start from scratch and remember 30 years of history, experience and knowledge. It took me a day and a half but in the end I was very pleased with how it turned out. I am also grateful because I am moving back to my home town city and working on semi retirement, hopefully I won’t need to fill out another one, but hey never say never. None of us ever knows what the future holds. If I didn’t believe this before the June I’ve had, I certainly know it know.

If we were having coffee I would tell you how excited I was to be presented with my Toastmasters Triple Crown Award by the District Director at last weeks changeover meeting. It is a difficult award to achieve as you need to complete 3 educational awards. Last year I decided I was up for the challenge and I set it as my goal during my year as President of one of my club’s. I needed to keep focused and plan well but in the end everybody won and I have a super fancy pin to wear whenever I need an extra boast to be the best I can.Triple Crown Award

If we were having coffee I would ask you what is happening in your world this last fortnight?

 

Coffee Catch-Up #9

Hand It Over

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It was the first time, and it wouldn’t be the last. These were the words that were going through my head as I was plucking up the courage to hand over my book’s complete and printed first draft. I remember telling myself, “it actually looks like a book.” I was so proud. If only I could keep my treasure to myself. However, the purpose of writing a book is to share knowledge, so I knew I had to hand it over to others – colleagues, patients, family and friends. Now was the time. It was never going to get any easier, but my thoughts and emotions were overwhelming.

What if they don’t like it?

What if people find it offensive and don’t like hearing the truth?

Was my writing good enough?

Why should people listen to what I had to say about eating disorder recovery?

Were my points clear?

What if it confused people?

These and many other questions could only be answered by you guessed it – seeking feedback. So in nervous anticipation, I made a plan and handed my baby over.

“Wow this is impressive” was the initial reaction after a quick flick through the 200 page document. My heart settled. I had done it. I had made the first steps in putting my work out there for others to scrutinize.  To my surprise it felt good. I knew that the making of a book is not in the writing but in the readers thoughts, opinions and acceptance. And so began my change process. I took all the feedback from my 50 or more readers I had handed a copy of my book. I began to enjoy hearing or reading what they had to say with everyone giving me different and valuable insights into how the world interpreted my writing.

Now, 3 years on from my first time, my book has it 3rd working title, which I think will be its last, but who knows. My next challenge is to finish wrapping it up and ensuring that every point I have made has a purpose before sending it to the editor for the first time, which will start the actual publishing process.

What do you need to do for the first time that although scary has the potential to change your life in some way? Remember, sometimes there is no easy way. You just have to hand it over and allow the process to begin.

My second working title

My second working title

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/discover-challenges/opening-line/

 

 

Perfectionism

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Perfection

 

The meaning behind the above quote is that in general perfection cannot be reached. When you aim for perfectionism in all areas of your life you stop setting realistic achievable goals. This is because you believe you can’t achieve them so  you don’t bother attempting to, which affects your contentment.

However, perfectionism can be healthy if it is isolated to only one achievable area. The difference is how you feel about yourself and why you are attempting perfection. In some sports, Olympians can achieve a perfect score. However, remember that to get one perfect score—on one skill or routine—they also have practised the skill thousands of times imperfectly. They may have also injured themselves attempting to complete the skill. Athletes accept this as part of the journey and get back on track to do their best. They know and accept that while they may achieve one perfect score—they won’t always be able to keep this up and on a different occasion, they may achieve a low score for the same skill or routine. It is what it is.

The following table considers some of the differences between healthy and unhealthy perfectionism.

HEALTHY PERFECTIONISM UNHEALTHY PERFECTIONISM
Achieve your personal best Increasing anxiety due to fear of not achieving goals and self-worth is only achieved through completing unachievable goals
Do a good job at your workplace Setting yourself up to fail then being afraid to try
Do the best you can in specific areas of your life e.g. Olympians with perfect scores or students who score high scores in some exams Fearing failure to such an extent that you avoid the task at hand
Setting high but realistic and achievable goals Setting unachievable goals

If you want to aim for perfectionism, make sure it is healthy and achievable for you. Aiming for perfectionism in all areas of your life creates so much anxiety that you never get started and as a result your self-worth and content of life plummets.

 https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/perfection/

The Butterfly Story

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Life is a personal journey. Others can help and support along the way however, they cannot do the work for us. When they rescue us, we never learn the skills required to save ourself when things get tough. Sometimes life has an odd way of putting the challenges we require in our path. But, it is important to notice what we learn from each experience — the good as well as the bad. The following true story of unknown origins explains the importance of struggles very well.

A man finds a butterfly cocoon, which develops a small hole. Over several hours, he notices the butterfly struggling to force its body through the small hole.

After a period, the man noticed that the butterfly appeared stop progressing. In trying to be helpful, the man decides to cut the cocoon open.  The butterfly emerged easily however its body was swollen and it had small-shriveled wings.

The man continued to watch the butterfly expecting at any moment the wings to enlarge and expand enough to support the body.

Neither happened!

In fact, the butterfly spent the rest of its life crawling around the ground. It was never able to fly.

What the man in his kindness and haste did not realise was that the restricting cocoon and the struggle by the butterfly to break free was nature’s way of forcing the fluid out of the butterfly’s body and into its wings so that it is ready for flight when the butterfly emerged.

Like the butterfly’s journey out of the cocoon, the struggles, we overcome help to develop our strengths needed for later life. They allow us to overcome obstacles that would otherwise cripple us. Without them we are unable to fly.

All our journeys are unique experiences and remember, there are no maps.

Butterflies-in-cocoons-emerging

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/struggle/

Rebuild

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Rebuilding is a natural occurance in life. It involves improving or making changes to something/someone that already exists or building something/someone again that has been damaged or destroyed. To ensure that the rebuild is the best it can be, both scenarios involve planning. Before creation, the person, building or thing needs stripping down in order to help reinforce the changes. The following list may help if you are considering a rebuild in your life.

  1. What works of the old plan?
  2. Can any of it be incorporated in to the new plan?
  3. Write a dream list of things you would like added to your rebuild.
  4. Prioritise your dream list and incorporate as many as practically possible.
  5. Draw up a new plan then leave it for at least a week. During this time get feedback form others.
  6. Come back to it, review and make any necessary changes.
  7. Start rebuilding — one step at a time.

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/rebuild/