Tag: Coping

N – Nimbin # A -Z Challenge

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Nimbin is the hippy capital of Australia. Although I have known this for many decades it was not until last month that I got to experience what that meant for myself. I was surprised. Tolerance for individualism was everywhere—two woman were verbally fighting loudly in the park. Nobody cared. It was normal.

“They have been at it all morning” said the local shopkeeper.

“Really” we replied.

” It is common for people around here to have rants. Some are just longer than others” she replied very matter of factly.

This set the scene for the rest of our visit.

The Nimbin community developed its identity in 1973 when it hosted Australia’s Aquarius festival celebrating alternate living choices and the arts. It attracted students, hippies, visionaries from all over Australia many of whom stayed on after the Aquarius Festival making Nimbin their home continuing to follow these dreams and ideology.

Names around the village describe its history well.

  • Peace Park
  • Hemp Embassy
  • Hemp Bar
  • Rainbow Power Company
  • Nimbin Co-op
  • The Green Park
  • Hemping Around
  • Tribal Magic

Forty years later the areas is still internationally renown for its alternative lifestyle culture. Marijuana reform has played a large role in the community over the decades. Today they are strongly fighting to legalise medical marijuana through their annual law reform rally—MardiGrass—held in early May.

“May the long time sun shine upon you, all love surround you and, the pure light within you guide your way home.” Aquarius festival anthem

#A – Z Challenge

Don’t Stop Believing

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What’s the one piece of advice you wish someone had given you a year (or five, or ten…) ago?

I have an innate ability to know who to trust. It’s an instant ability I  have to be able to read people. When I interview for new staff I make it clear the person I choose will be the best fit for the team not necessarily the person with the highest scores on graduation. So far my trust has been rewarded by my choices being recognised as great team members by patients as well as other staff.

During the last 5 years however there was one occasion where my trust in a colleague was severely breached. I had to learn quickly not to doubt myself. I was right to originally trust this person however they broke that trust by their actions. I quickly recognised the problem—there was a crocodile in the pond, the pond itself although shaken was solid and full of life.

This realisation during an extremely difficult time helped me to continue believe in myself, build resilience in all concerned and continue to trust others.

Remember, sometimes when things are out of our control it’s not our fault, however we need to do what is necessary to take back control.

Self Belief

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/powerful-suggestion/

Dealing With Anger

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Tell us about a time when you flew into a rage. What is it that made you so incredibly angry?

I don’t fly into rages. Yes I get angry—but I deal with it quickly stopping it developing further along its continuum and having a greater impact on my life.

The anger continuum has 3 points:

Anger_________Rage_________Fury

I put out spot fires of anger, stopping them becoming bush fires of rage or mega wild fires of fury. The further down the continuum you go, the more out of control the emotion and the more damage you are likely to do to yourself or others.

Anger is a valid, strong emotion. It comes about when we feel personally wronged or attacked. By acknowledging what I am angry about, I can decide what I need to do about it. My response usually comes in one of the following ways:

  • Acknowledging that I have a right to be angry about it and that I was hurt—no further action required.
  • Taking some deep breath, listening to my favourite loud music and just chilling for a moment. Pink’s music works well here.
  • Ventilating my anger in a healthy way e.g kick a ball around, journal my feelings or  just yell for a minute of too.
  •  Responding to my anger and speaking to the person involved. To do this I would make a time to discuss the matter with the person I am angry with.  I let them know why I am angry using ‘I’ statements. I am entitled to be angry and they don’t get to tell me I shouldn’t be angry—they also cannot take my feeling away. However, by talking about it with the person concerned, together we open the lines of communication and make a plan to get to the bottom of the issue. Being heard by the other person helps me feel validated and allows me to let it go.
  • My last option is to discuss it with a friend/mental health work colleague. This gives  me closure and helps me see the situation through the other persons eyes. Many people may use therapy to help with this stage.

I grew up with and still where possible follow the biblical quote on this topic— Ephesians 4:26 “Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger”— as failing to do so has a great impact on one’s mental health.

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/mad-as-a-hatter/

My CODES

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Have you got a code you live by? What are the principles or set of values you actively apply in your life?

I live my life according to my personal values. They are at the centre of everything I do and are the basis of my motto—be the best version of yourself possible but do no harm to yourself or others. My personal values can be described as my CODES and include:

C

Calmness, Carefulness, Challenge, Commitment, Community, Confidence, Connection, Courage, Courtesy, Continuity, Compromise, Comfort and Change.

O

Open-mindedness. Optimism, Order, Originality and Outdoors.

D

Dependability, Desire, Determination, Dignity, Dreaming, Direction and Diligence.

E

Empathy, Encouragement, Endurance, Enthusiasm, Ethics, Excellence, Experience, Expertise, Expressiveness, Ease, Efficiency, Envision and Exploration.

S

Safety, Self-control, Security, Self-reliability, Self-respect, Sensitivity, Sharing, Silence, Simplicity, Spirituality, Stability, Support and Spontaneity.

 

Whenever I am thinking whether a decision is right for me—I consult my CODES. If it fits into any of my above values, I will consider the option further. If it doesn’t fit—the answerer is a definite NO!

My CODES simplify my life.

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/i-walk-the-line/

Love

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We each have many types of love relationships — parents, children, spouses, friends. And they’re not always with people; you may love an animal, or a place. Is there a single idea or definition that runs through all the varieties of “love”?

Love is the feeling that connects us to others. It gives us reasons to do things. It supports us in difficult times and makes memories complete. Adding love and caring to any situation makes it shared. My other ideas on love can be found in this acrostic poem.

Love is letting other people or things into your life and caring about them—at times putting their needs above your own.   

Obvious in your face—it makes you smile and warms you from the inside.

Valuable—without love and letting others get close—you are alone.

Every feeling the other person feels you share—if they are happy or sad—you feel their joy or sadness.

Love is...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/i-want-to-know-what-love-is/

Dreaming In Action

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You’re having a nightmare, and have to choose between three doors. Pick one, and tell us about what you find on the other side.

I don’t usually remember my dreams. I am sure I have them as part of my natural sleep cycle, but they don’t wake or disturb me. Occasionally if some thing on my mind—even on my subconscious mind—it will cause me to awake from my sleep through a dream. When this happens something—needs to be done about the issue. No problem is waking me twice.

During my dreaming process the answer to what needs to be done is clear. I don’t need three doors—I only need one. The practical one with the action to complete the task. If I can’t decide on a solution I will deliberately sleep on it. Suddenly, in the morning or during the night the answer will come. To help explain how dreams work I have included a video—it puts a little clarity around the mystery of dreaming.

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/just-a-dream/

ME Time

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What’s your ideal Saturday morning? Are you doing those things this morning? Why not?

I believe one of the best ways to look after your mental health is to enjoy regular—preferably daily ME time. Time alone  doing only what you want to do—something that isn’t taxing on the brain. ME time recharges and energises me. I also prepares me to do battle with whatever lies ahead or brings me down from a busy and demanding day at work.

Saturday morning is my favourite time to catch up with myself. My busy week is over and I am usually home alone. I love the silence. I love the only sounds I can hear are the birds chirping outside—it quietens my busy head immediately. Upon rising usually early, I grab a cup of tea and head to my blog. I enjoy the excitement creating new posts in different styles brings me as well as visiting other blogs. It never ceases to amaze me how one topic can be interpreted in so many ways. I also enjoy learning more about the people, words and experiences that make up my ever-growing blogging community.

During busy weekend times when I cannot fit in my blogging hit to start off my weekend—I feel more stressed. ME time is definitely my de-stress time. I find ME time is definitely my oxygen to get through the rough parts of  life—like the plane warning states “put your own oxygen mask on before helping others.” So now I prioritise my ME time.  If I am busy I get up fifteen minutes earlier—to have some ME time—in the end I feel better for it as my day runs much smoother.

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/me-time/

Transition Recovery House

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You’re given a plot of land and have the financial resources to do what you please. What’s the plan?

If I had the resources I would open a transition recovery house for people in the later stages of recovery from their eating disorder. It would be a small facility with 6-8 beds. Its purpose would be to support during the first 90 days after discharge from hospital anyone who was transitioning from their family home to independent living and met the entry criteria. This post discharge is critical for relapse as the stress triggers reverting to old coping skills. By living in a purpose-built facility and continuing to work on recovery—new practical coping skills can be taught in the here and now.

Moving out of home is a right of passage for most young people. For anyone it is a stressful time with a rewarding goal—independence. For people living with an eating disorder without extra support this is even more difficult. Pre-requisites of my transition recovery house would include:

  • a stabilised healthy weight for the individual—based on their bodies natural set point not BMI
  • study and /or working
  • individual and group cooking
  • group food shopping
  • daily recovery work time
  • weekly group work
  • mindfulness
  • body image work including shopping for clothes
  • compulsory participation in the structured house program
  • no alcohol or drugs
  • shared chore roster
  • personal clothes washing
  • keeping psychiatrist, dietitian and  psychology appointments
  • continued control of eating disorder behaviours
  • nightly accountability groups
  • budgeting
  • meal planning
  • volunteer work

I hope that over time my recovery transition house would develop to fill any other individual needs of its housemates and teach them how to do the same.

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/a-plot-of-earth/

Tomorrow Is Another Day

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Take a quote from your favorite movie — there’s the title of your post. Now, write!

As a child in early primary school I can remember going to the movies to see Gone With The Wind. It is a movie that changed my life.

I loved it.

I left the movie theatre that day thinking,  I as a girl, growing up in the 1970’s could do anything. Scarlett O’Hara was my hero. What I saw as a child was a woman who, if she wanted something, went out and got it. She was a tough, resilient survivor and I needed to know that was possible. I, of course missed all of her relationship difficulties, which are another part of the movie, but I was too young to understand.

The concluding scene of the movie and the title of this blog post has lived with me everyday since—”tomorrow is another day.” Whenever things get tough—I like Scarlett—remind myself “I can’t think about that now, I’ve got to think about it tomorrow, after all tomorrow is another day.” I usually find by giving myself some space, by sleeping on my problem—the next day I have an answer. My problem may still be as big but at least I have made a plan to get through it. When problems are really tough, I go back to an earlier blog post and ask St Francis of Assissi for advice.

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/silver-screen/

Lessons From My Teachers

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Tell us about a teacher who had a real impact on your life, either for the better or the worse. How is your life different today because of him or her?

Teachers are about education. And from my experience good and bad teachers teach you skills, even if it wasn’t what they set out to teach you. My school years were the late sixties and seventies—a different era. Most of my teachers taught me well and used skills that I consider imperative today when interacting with or teaching my patients.

  • Caring
  • Confidence
  • Consistency
  • Good Communication
  • Honesty
  • Individuality
  • Kindness
  • Listening Skills
  • Non-judgmental
  • Patience
  • Respect
  • Self-Belief
  • Transparency

In 5th class however, my teacher was the opposite. He made my life so difficult. He picked on me, made me the laughing stock of the class and criticised everything I did. This lead to poorer marks that meant my grading in high school was lower than it should have been. Despite this I worked my way back up and the gifts I gained from him are RESILIENCE and a never say never attitude. All of these skills and qualities combine to make me the person I am today. It is all part of the patchwork quilt of my life.

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/teachers-pet/